Dry Toast & Water

has been the absolute staple of my diet for the last 11 days. My belly has a guest inside, a little monster, who prefers that I refrain from eating, sleeping, and walking around. He’s a fascinating little belly monster, who kinda keeps me on a leash. He’ll give me an 8 hour window of freedom, health, and experimentation as a teaser before ordering yet another round of coconut water and dry toast.

I’ve been tracking my diet, so I can say with great confidence that it follows this pattern: Toast –> Toast –> Coconut Water –> Toast –> Coconut Water –> Toast –> Toast –> Banana –> Toast –> Coconut Water –> Coconut Water –> Toast –> Banana –> Coconut Water –> Fallafel! –> TOAST! –> COCONUT WATER! –> TOAST –> Toast –> Toast

or in one instance when I got particularly brave…. Toast –> Toast –> Toast –> Coconut Water –> Toast –> Banana –> Coconut Water –> Steak Tartare and a glass of bordeaux –> ?!?!!!!!…….TOAST! –> TOAST! –> TOAST! –> TOAST! For those similarly bored by eating the same three things for eleven days in a row may I recommend the following variations….

English muffins!

Until you get to that point where english muffins transform from fluffy doughy clouds into a reminder of sofa filling, then switch to bagels. The smooth exterior and chewy texture will be a welcome refreshment.

When the chewy begins to feel rubbery there is nothing better than a real crust to bring you an instant sense of authenticity and heartiness. This will definitely give you the sustenance you are endlessly seeking!

In the end you may never feel truly fufilled by stuffing your belly with mounds of white carbs. That is where coconut water comes in. Electrolytes galore! …. plus coconut water gives this great breezy furity tropical sensation that is absolutely absent from your bread feast. When this gets old, its back to good old water, but tasty tasty water it is. Almost as tasty as the antibiotics I picked up today, the glass is about to be half full folks.